where it all began ...

2009-08-28T18:58:00.000-07:00

on march 19th, 2009 i posted the following note on facebook. since them i have become committed to becoming a blogger extroadinaire even if my only followers are my best friend and boyfriend. here goes nothing:

So during the usual post-Friday/pre-Saturday anxiety this past weekend, while repeatedly attempting to fall back to sleep (and failing), I just couldn't stop thinking about all the interesting things I've observed and learned about the Dating Game these past few weeks. I seem to have come across a number of shows, articles, and real life situations that all lead me to believe that though we are advancing technologically, we are rapidly retreating romantically. I surprised myself by writing an entire blog post while tossing and turning, and so I present to you this disorganized list of my ruminations:

- It seems that me and my girls have spent 90% of our adult lives trying to figure out what guys are thinking. I now know that they're actually not thinking much at all. Men like to act on their instincts, where women seem to want to analyze and tallllllk about everything. We are constantly trying to decipher your "code" and figure out what you really meant when you said you loved sushi. Maybe you like it because it's raw? Maybe you like it because it's wrapped in that neat little seaweed sleeping bag? Or perhaps because it's Japanese and you really like sleeping with Asian girls? Ladies, maybe, just maybe, he JUST likes it.

- If a man likes you, he will make it known. There will be no deciphering. Men are willing to share alot of things, including sports facts, hats, button down shirts, a bag of Tostitos, but one thing they are not willing to share is their woman. To avoid the risk of another man coming on to you, he will make sure everyone knows you're going home with him. If you're dating a guy and there is still some uncertainty about who you "belong to" at the table, He's Just Not That Into You.

- Men seem to just want a few things in life: Good Food, To be Loved, To be Cool, and Frequent Sex.

- On that note, I've learned that men aren't ALL disgusting pigs. Whereas we women show our love through sweet Hallmark cards, cooking a nice dinner, cuddling etc., men express their love through sex. This is their version of "a deep talk." For them, sex is as "deep" as it gets. Pun intended.

- What was up with the guy at the bar tonight screaming, "Yeah mount him, mount him good!!" and "Yeah grab his balls!!" during the Jackson/Jardine fight tonight?! And then he wanted to talk to me and the girls . . . . UGH. Go drink some more beer.

- Since when did texting become the new way of contacting someone for a date?! I have such an issue with this to point that when I give my number out now (which is rare, see previous point for 2009 mating selection), I immediately notify the individual that if he'd like to see me again (I know all my exes are thinking "Don't do it, man!") then he should avoid texting me for our first "conversation." Seriously, put in a little effort and pick up the phone! I could go on and on about this point, as I have heard countless girls tell me about deep conversations they've had with their new guy, and when I ask if his phone voice is sexy, they reply "I have no idea, we were texting." AHHH! The only way to get to know someone is to challenge them and push their boundaries across the dating status quo line. I know what you're thinking, "I'm just not a phone person" or "But she told me she hates talking on the phone!." I am also one of those girls who hates talking on the phone, but I have been known to do it for 6 hours at a time when someone is keeping my interest.

- To my next point: Where has all the romance gone? I constantly hear women around me complaining that "there are no good guys left anymore. They're all married or gay." I will admit that sometimes this does appear to be the case, especially in LA. But I have to be fair to the guys in saying that women just don't DEMAND the romance anymore. Men like good food, good love and frequent sex enough that if you told your (presumably at least minimally interested in you) prospect he needed to climb Mt. Everest in order to get to the goodies, he would set the world record for the fastest climb. Men like to get what they want, and if they want you, TRUST me they will do what it takes to get you. Including call, not text.

- Nagging. I love this one. We love to nag you guys don't we? I've realized this actually won't make the man want to do more, it'll just make him feel like he can never please you and force him into his man cave, which we all know is a very dark place. Saying thank you and appreciating him will actually go alot further. My sister thinks nagging is written in our genetic code, and if men knew what to do then we just wouldnt have to nag. HMMM . . .

- Onto Chivalry: Girls, how many times have you been in a club/bar and you're walking to bathroom and you reach a space where there's only enough room for one person to pass, and the guy coming in the opposite direction goes first?! This drives me so nuts, that I now make sure to whisper (loudly) in his ear "Ladies First," as he passes me by. A few other things: open the car door, open all other doors, let your girl order first, or even order for the both of you, limit your texting/calling while out with us, call us beautiful (there is no limit to this one), think of creative dates and PLAN them.

- It appears that if a man really loves you, he will always attempt to protect you even if he doesn't succeed. I find this really endearing.

- Another thing I've noticed is that guys really appreciate the small things. For example, if he's paid for dinner, you should buy drinks. If he gets the movie tickets, you get the popcorn. My dad dated a woman for several months, and after all the dinners, movies, and excursions he took her on, she "still couldn't even buy me a f*&cking soda!!" It's not about the money, it's about the appreciation.

- Here are some things that are not attractive: you wear more jewelry than me, you unbutton your shirt more than 2 buttons, you wear white athletic socks with dress shoes, you have bad hygiene, you are lazy and unmotivated, etc . . . .

- When in public, a woman should always defend and support her man. However, she should feel free to beat this sh*&t out of him for making that ignorant comment the second they get back home.

definitiOn Of an abigail * :

where it all began ...